8:00 AM – Wake up in the morning feelin’ like Richard Dawkins.
8:02 AM – Stumble over prone, sleeping bodies of Hindu, Jew and Ahmedi orgy-mates.
8:04 AM – Brush my teeth with…Close-up. Even us Liberal Fascists worry about gingivitis.
8:15 AM – Masturbate in shower.
8:16 AM – Masturbate while drying off.
8:30 AM – Scour newspaper headlines for new examples of laughable behavior by silly Mooslims while pouring myself a bowl full of expensive cereal and low-fat milk.
8:35 AM – Pour bowl full of cereal down sink while laughing at the plight of poor people.
9:30 AM – Drive to work in air conditioned car that has extra large tires to illustrate how far above the “common man” I am.
10:30 AM – Sit at desk updating blog, Twitter and Facebook about how the ISI is evil CIA is good, Raymond Davis is our savior and America has our best interests at heart.
12:30 PM – Leave for lunch to Okra or some other high priced restaurant.
1:00 PM – Order unpronounceable French cuisine while consuming bottle of red wine.
3:00 PM – Return to office. Stop along the way to laugh at people praying.
5:00 PM – Wrap up for the day and head home for shower and masturbation. Stop off at T2F Cafe to score some Foursquare points.
7:00 PM – Prepare dinner for gathering of fellow Liberals. Menu: Pork, Bacon, Beer and marinated soul of Muslim child.
10:30 PM – Dinner is cold now. Damn Liberals have no respect for time. Pass time by writing blog post for Express Tribune about how much I love the West.
11:00 PM – Liberals arrive! Fasi and Nadeem brought flowers. How kind of them. We don’t let George in until he says something racist.
11:30 PM – We laugh at CCTV footage of Mumtaz Qadri. Then weep at CCTV footage of Raymond Davis.
12:00 AM – Orgy ensues.