LOVE WILL KILL US ALL…

January by Ravens and Chimes

I miss being hurt.

5 years ago I met the beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny woman who became my wife and with whom I spend all my time being happy and content and free.

It wasn’t always like this. Most of my life before this was full of rejection. Yearning for someone who did not want to be with me. A procession of women who would look at me and say, “not you.”

And when I was with anyone, it would be fleeting and painful. Brief moments of frantic emotion that ended in mascara tracking down flushed cheeks or scratches on a fragile wrist. Hearts broken and curses cast.

I think I spent most of one year in college wearing black and walking around moodily sucking on cigarettes, indenting the air with smoke as I wrote a speech in my head to get someone back. Over and over.

Now I’m happy and content and blissfully complete. I need never be lonely again.

And yet. Yet, a part of me misses the pain. I think it’s a phantom sensation, like a lost limb still itching. Habits form and aren’t easy to get rid of. I want to be broken hearted just once more. I want to sit in the dark wishing for someone. I want to crawl inside a song. Just one more time. Then I’ll be able to let it go.

POLITICAL ANAL-YSIS

Right, so I am never really political on this blog. But sometimes you break the rules you set for yourself.

To President Musharraf (R): Good job with the first 7 years. Should have fired your advisors in 2007. But you gave us a few years of hope before falling prey to ego. It happens to everyone in power. It’s a shame it happened to you and it ruined everything you had achieved but, nevertheless, for a while you made me proud to be Pakistani again. And the last few minutes of your speech were some of the most honest and heartfelt oratory I have ever experienced. So thank you. Enjoy your retirement. Write another book. Forget this and keep safe.

To the Lawyers Movement: Let’s be honest, your goggle eyed boss isn’t getting back in his chair. The Lawyers community of Pakistan has always been a gang of self-righteous crooks and liars and no amount of chest beating and hair pulling will change that. Once this passes with the continued failure of your cause, fuck off back to your dungeons where you can over-charge people for mediocre representation. You have proved that you are the worst lawyers in the history of the legal practice with your inability to even win the one case you were all behind. Oh and the next time try to remember, it’s Long ‘March’ not Long ‘Drive’ you lazy asswits.

To the PPP and PML-N: The two most incompetent political parties in Pakistan are back. And only this nation of short-term memory loss suffering lemmings would cheer for your mediocrity-rooted asses.

The PPP holds the distinction of being the most corrupt party in Pakistan’s history, which is one heck of an achievement. It is also the only party to still support the medieval Feudal system. We will trust you when you have a leader who dies of natural causes. Until then, learn self-preservation before trying to rule us.

The PML-N is headed by the mutated flakes of dried semen that General Zia left on a tissue before deciding he was in the mood for mangoes. Once you are done spraying the walls of your headquarters with cum as you celebrate actually achieving a goal for the first time in your lives, try to remember why everyone cheered the first time you were overthrown by a military dictator. Keep that memory close, because it will be re-enacted soon. You know it and I know it.

To everyone who voted the PPP/PML-N into power and cheered today: The next time you see a cock…suck it. May your retarded children be infected with a particularly virulent form of AIDS so that your  genetic predisposition towards stupidity dies out soon. My loathing for your short-sightedness, limited thinking and general tendencies towards goldfish-type behavior wil have be praying for your untimely and painful end. Please don’t disappoint me. Now go blow your sister you cousin marrying flecks of feces.