…

Yeesh.

Still haven’t recovered from the Funny-Block I’ve been suffering from for the past few days.

The terrible affliction probably wasn’t helped by the corporate show I did a few days back. 100 suited HR execs, in a hotel ballroom that looked like Hosni Mubarak’s den. They sat stone-faced at round tables and took the moments that I generally use as applause breaks to tap away at their Blackberry’s. Thank God the money was good, otherwise the blow to the ego might have been catastrophic. As it is, know I can walk away with, if not my dignity, then an abiding sense of prostitution.

God a 45 minute solo show coming up on the 9th of April for the OGS Mela. I think I’m going to improvise a little less and hide behind my act for this one.

BRING THE BOREDOM…

I can’t seem to Bring the Funny these days…

It’s been over a month since I wrote any new material. No new stand-up. No new articles.

 I am bored with myself.

It’s frustrating because I’ve been trying to work towards a new solo show. I have a bunch of corporate and charity gigs coming up. Got two new interviews coming out soon. Waiting to hear back from a Comedy Festival I applied to. So I am trying to push my career as a Comic. And all the while I have been feeling less and less like a Comic.

I keep thinking about upcoming shows and feel bored with my own material already. I love improvising on stage, making it all up on the fly. But that means I have fun at shows but have no new definitive material.

I want to type a scream in but I am not even sure how to spell it. Is it "AARGH" or "AAGH". Is there a difference between the two?

See? That’s the funniest I’ve been in a while. Shoot me now.

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A CONFLUENCE OF EVENTS…

2007 is shaping up to be The Year of Ill Health.

My throat feels like Darfur on a hot day.

Gangs of rogue Lahori lawyers are currently going on strike and being beaten by riot police in my head.

My sinuses are as tightly screwed shut as Musharraf’s chances of shagging Nancy Pelosi.

Welcome to Head News.

Kiss my orb-like tight buttocks Al-Jazeera.  I got your world politics right here.

TO HELL WITH GHOSTS…

I hate ghosts. Not because they are scary or they can possess you. Because they are sneaky. That’s just wrong.

It’s true…movies have taught us that ghosts are sneaky bastards.

Ghosts always do that thing where they never let you just see them, they will appear when your back is turned or when you are lying down facing the other way. Then they will suddenly materialize or rise up from beside the bed and stare at you and then the moment you feel like something is watching and you turn around! Nothing.

Hmmm…probably just my imagination.

Do they stand there going, “Okay, hang back hang back. He’s still looking facing this way. Let him start peeing first. Dude! I said hang back! Your foot is visible, were you asleep through training!? Okay…he has turned away. He’s facing the bowl…I heard the zip opening. Okay, wait for you it wait for it…let him start peeing aaaannnnddd….NOW!”

That always happens too, the music always goes up ten notches. Like the ghost is carrying a tuba.

Sneaky bastards.

WHERE I AM – MARCH 2007

Lots of new visitors coming in so lets do the “Hello, how do you do, I am…” dance.

I’ll go first:

My name’s Sami Shah and I do Standup Comedy, amongst other stuff.

I’ve been performing for just over two years now, and some scraps of my performances are floating around on the web.

Video: SMUTFLAKES, BI, AIRPORT SECURITY, BAKRA EID

Audio: SHALLOW COMPLIMENTS, THE LAST KINK

I was recently interviewed by an on-line magazine, and you can read that here.

These are a few places you can find me on the internut:

Bring the Funny V1:The previous life of this blog.

SamiShah.com: A gallery website I use to sell my artwork. If you want to buy any prints or commission a sketch, contact me through there.

samishah.deviantart.com: Newer sketches and experiments can be found dumped over here.

SXC.hu/gallery/samishah: Some photos I took before my camera got stolen. A few of these have been published in odd places.

I also frequently write articles on Music and Technology.

I am a journalist by day for a television news channel and have recently ended a 4 year stint with Black Fish, Pakistan’s first and only improv comedy troupe.

I can easily be found on samishah@gmail.com.

NELSON MANDELA, ANTONELLS BARBA AND I WALK INTO A BAR…

The fine folks over at Wecite Magazine (don’t worry…I hadn’t heard of them either before this) interviewed me a few days ago.

The interview just went up here.

Go read me talking about Saddam’s hanging. Oh and I satisfactorily end the long-standing debate over who knows more dick jokes, Nelson Mandela or the Dalai Llama.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to obsess over Antonella Barba. Seriously, this season of American Idol is shaping up to be the best ever! Lakisha Jones alone has more talent than all the other contestants comb…

…I know, how I managed to get married is beyond me. Just goes to show, an overriding sense of charity makes this a wonderful place for people like me.

FLUMMOXING ENCEPHALITIS VICTIMS…

So, ofcourse, I have already broken my promise to update my blog on a daily basis.

I’m quick like that.

The next few days will be sheer torture for me as the run-up to the World Cup dominated every single conversation topic. This despite the fact that the Pakistani Cricket Team is comprised, at this point, of cripples and junkies.

For the American readers out there, who have never understood what Cricket is, imagine the plot of “Awakenings” only with the Encephalitis victims wearing colorful flappy pants.

Extended periods of catatonia punctuated with all too brief moments of manic activity.

On an unrelated note – Can animals be retarded? This came up in conversation today and really has me flummoxed. Would you be able to tell if your dog suffered from Down Syndrome? Can dogs suffer from Down Syndrome? And who uses “flummoxed” anymore?